


I'll be your optimistic black hole, full of love I can't control (let’s keep each other safe from the world).

by anxiouspunk



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: BOTH these lesbians actually, F/F, Fluff, I struggled A LOT for the title so this is the best I could do, Mentions of Death, Wingman Steve, and a bit for robin too bc I love her also, and of robin's family, and some steve and robin frienship bc I know what the people want, as a lesbian who’s had many great platonic friendships with guys growing up, bc you never see f/m friendships in media that don’t at least play with being romantic at one point, love that lesbian, mentions of the party - Freeform, robin is a gay mess, so expect character analysis, so this is a nice refresher, their friendship is very important to me, this is really just another way for me to dissect kali’s character and talk about her, waterparks’ ‘lucky people’ as the title, with a tiny drop of angst thrown in at one scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 09:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20113243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouspunk/pseuds/anxiouspunk
Summary: robin thought pining for tammy thompson had been rough.and then gorgeous, punk rock badass kali prasad walks in through the door of family video. and now robin's really in the hole.but maybe with the help of her (self-appointed) wingman best friend and a mixtape, this band nerd has the hope of winning over one of the coolest and most amazing people she's ever met.





	I'll be your optimistic black hole, full of love I can't control (let’s keep each other safe from the world).

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello ST fandom, it's been a minute. Have been a bit lost on inspo for this fandom, but when s3 (a trash fire, for the record, but that's not what we're talking about) brought us Robin, that flame was rekindled. And of course, I still love Kali deeply, and no one can change my mind that if Robin met Kali she would totally fall for her punk-rocker self. They're both hinted to probably be into the same music, and both have those similarities of being loners/outcasts, off the beaten path, so I think they'd get along really well. No offence to the onslaught of Nancy/Robin, but I think we can do better than two white girls who have next to nothing in common, don't you?
> 
> Enjoy!

robin had only been working three weeks with steve, when on a boring  brisk day of mid-october, in walks one of the most gorgeous girls to  take over her whole world.

she’s new. robin knows because hawkins doesn’t make girls like this. long raven hair, buzzed on the side and tinted purple. the chains on her boots clanked, the sun filtering in glinting off the studs on her leather jacket. quite small but presence nothing short of  powerful, radiating off her. eyes deep brown;  _ very  _ sharp. heavy in a way, but not like it dragged her down. in fact, like it made her.

robin couldn’t breathe. she was jello  limbed, nearly dropping the  rubik cube she was solving in desperate need to hide it. she was incredible, out of this world. 

and so fuckin far out of her league.

she was looking for harrington, another surprise, to talk about the motorcycle they’re building. but after steve clasps robin on the back who’s standing nearby putting price tags on plastic  cassettes and pretending she wasn’t listening in or totally sweating out of her palms, introducing her as the “highly-spoken partner in crime.” 

robin visibly cringed. 

the girl looks right at her. doesn’t do that polite, pressed on smile made for greetings. doesn’t seem to really react at all. her eye-contact was a little terrifying. it was like she could see right through you.

“robin. you cracked the russian code.” 

_ jesus christ, what the hell had harrington told her?! _

“uh, y-yeah, that was me..” 

“you spat in the bastard’s face.” 

her cheeks were on fire. harrington was lucky if he made it out of his shift tonight alive.

“yeah, um, that-that was also..me..”

still nothing. then, very faintly, the flat-lined lips twitched. titled, right at the corner. robin might as well have died and gone to heaven then. there was a long silence after so she stuttered out, 

“n-nice shirt..”

it was ramones. she clearly knew good music, and that was a pull at robin’s heartstrings right there. the girl didn’t reply, but moved her steady gaze to the bent  _ clash  _ pin hanging above the  _ family video  _ logo on robin’s shirt.

“..nice pin.” at that, she leaned back, rolling her knuckles over the plastic counter, and turned to steve “see you later harrington.” 

robin only exhaled when the sound of the bell over the door had stopped. steve was leaning against her, and if his smugness was any louder it would shatter the windows.

“something tells me I’m no longer going to be alone in the ‘you suck’ column anymore..” 

“shut up harrington.” she shoved him in the shoulder, ignoring his snickering “and tell me _everything _about her..” 

-

_ kali.  _

like the goddess. god of destruction, destroyer of evil forces, robin had to explain  _ (“wait, the what goddess??” “god, read a book!”). _

and robin knew very few facts about kali, thanks to the little info steve actually had. one, she was from chicago (that explains the whole _being cooler then literally anybody robin’s ever seen in hawkins_ thing). two, she was el’s sister (there was some confusion until it clicked that it technically probably meant adopted and steve assured her he did the same thing). three, she had had what steve called a ‘rough time’ _(“I think the lab people had her like el, and then was a street kid, did some kind of, you know...vigilante justice or whatever..” “I’m gunna let you continue but we’re coming back to __**that **__later.”). _four, she could name nearly every punk band under the sun (robin swore her heart did a loop-de-loop of some kind). and five, she was not seeing anyone (no wait, now robin’s heart actually _stopped). _

but one meeting, and that info under her arm, robin still knew her chances were zilch. one meekly, band nerd who read graphic novels, learned languages and solved rubik cubes for kicks matching with a beautiful punk avenger? laughable at best. except, for where _apparently _kali was impressed with the crime fighting of russians as well as robin’s music tastes, and starts asking her to hang out when she got late-night burgers with her and steve.

and then robin starts learning  _ so much.  _

-

kali’s quiet. very quiet.  serious.  hardly says a word unless spoken to. always formal, a guarded stance. she’s a lot like el that way. the same indrawn silence and seriousness that robin wonders is born from an environment of control. until the music comes on. the wild, righteous guitar of black flag and  _ dead end justice _ at max volume from the shitty van speakers, lights up the stoic guard like flicking a switch. fist thumping against the door in tandem, dark hair flying,  _ smiling.  _ a real smile. she knows every word. when robin joins in, head-banging too (and sometimes smacking her head on the van roof because that’s the struggle of being 5’9 in this world), she’ll smile bigger.

kali has a very fierce heart. her quietness makes her aloof, distant. to where you could mistake her sharpness for cruelness. in reality, her heart is just more hidden, something you have to watch for. and robin is very detailed. 

she loves el like mad. kali isn’t stupid, knows el is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and more, but still she’s always keeping a careful eye, always one step behind the tween. protecting. there’s a deep connection there between them that isn’t as obnoxious as most siblings; not as loud, but almost twice as strong. robin noticed the connections. they both didn’t like small rooms. they were both nervous around animals. they both had extreme loyalty to their family.  neither were talkers. they were both very comfortable with strong eye contact.   
the day they were at the byers-hoppers, robin invited to listen to the _ joy division _ vynl jonathan lent kali, she notices this sudden  _ shift  _ in her, sudden alertness as they sat side-by-side on the bed. about three seconds after that, there was distressed yelling in the backyard where the kids were playing, el crying. kali is up without a single  hesitation, pulling a pistol from her drawer, ushering them outside with one confident hand on the gun and the other gently holding robin behind,  _ stay back, stay back.  _ turns out all el had done was  injure her ankle; but kali never left her side, gripping her waist and letting her lean against her as a prop, helping her every step back inside. it was all fine in the end but robin absolutely knows kali for sure would've used that gun  _ had _ someone been hurting el.

there was the day robin cut her finger right open, all the way up from knuckle to nail. kali was on it, leather gloved hand wrapping around hers to hold it up and clean off the raging blood, disinfectant and careful ace bandage. steady voice and calm movements; she took care of her. _“you’re going to have a fairly impressive scar buckley,” _spoken with the slightest hint of playfulness, eyes rising up to look through the thick mop of hair and meeting hers _“just don’t tell them how you got it.” _robin went home that night, laid down on bed over her old faded _scooby-doo _comforter and ran her other finger up and down the bandage, how kali rubbed her thumb on her palm when she had to press down on the wound, unable to stop grinning. her dad eventually stuck his head into her room, _“you alright buddy-pal?”, _because she hadn’t moved for about two hours. _(“you don’t get it; she was so careful and held my hand for like, twenty minutes straight.” “wow, geez rob, I hope you used protection.”). _

kali doesn’t just like music, she  _ knows  _ music. she can list album  choreography, she knows outside of just one-hits that made kennedy’s and ramones  known. she’s the first to match robin’s expertise.  so not only does she know punk, she  _ gets it _ , talking to her about the importance of revolution shown through art, the importance  of what it’s trying to say. _ it doesn’t try to appease,  _ she spoke sagely,  _ it doesn’t ask for permission. punk is a radical act that doesn’t aim to fit the masses, which I think you and I can understand.  _ you and I, you and I, robin hummed to herself after.

she’s secretive. extremely so. kali never showed more then she wanted you to see. robin can clearly tell she’s had quite the life, despite never divulging. kali knew exactly what to do to wrap up el’s ankle and when the van broke down on the road one day, popped the hood, performed some kind of magic act, and got it running before robin even flagged down a car. could sew up a holey shirt and pick a lock in under five minutes. robin once was telling her all about morse code which she knew, doing some simple letters to introduce, only for kali to tap back  _ I-K-N-O-W,  _ eyebrows raised to robin’s gobsmacked face. 

sometimes she’ll say. when kali was picking out the constellations on robin’s poster, the taller girl asked how the hell it was  light enough to see the stars in chicago, but then kali smiled  _ “my father taught me.”  _ other times she won’t. robin was complaining about that asshole costumer who comes in sometimes, flirts with her like she can’t see his wife who walked in with him until steve can get him off her back, and kali took her hand, making her skin prickle. taught her how to make a fist, properly, and if needed, how to use the bottom of her palm to break a nose. when asked, her voice was distant, gaze back to steady and sharp,  _ “I learned it.” _

robin’s not dying to pry, but she is curious by nature. kali was  _ smart. _ obviously knew a lot.

which made her very, unexpectedly, talented. robin was convinced she couldn’t get more attractive until the moment kali said the acoustic guitar roaming in the van was hers, that she used to play punk shows back in the day  _ (“when I was near jane’s age, wild and reckless.”),  _ immediately exciting robin’s band nerd self. it took some pressure but eventually she was convinced to play, careful hands wrapped around the instrument; grin dangling from her lips, she played her way through  _ blister in the sun,  _ and even knew a few cords from  the  beatles’s  _ blackbird,  _ fondly remarking  _ “my mother loved that song.”  _ the time she was invited over and walked in to kali sitting with will in the dining room, both of them guiding each other through paintings they were making  _ (“I used to do street art in chicago.”  _ she waved off). she did her own hair too; the kids had begged her to do theirs, neon pink sprayed in el’s and slicked back hair for will’s to make him a glam rock star, and then robin got roped in, trying to remember to take steady breaths as kali’s fingers weaved through her hair, dying locks neon green.

the switchblade always in her pocket,  _ loyal to few owned by none  _ etched in the handle. the pink bandana robin caught tied around her upper arm. the pearl necklace around her neck, a clash to the black leather punk. the hidden humour. the sheathed,  passionate heart. robin’s figuring it out, slowly.

she’s the most amazing mystery robin’s ever tried to piece. 

-

“..and, like, she said she can do a little on electric – even some black flag! she doesn’t have one,” robin rambled on, taking a bite from her home-made turkey sandwich “but my dad has an old fender, which I said she could borrow and she’s gunna try – cool right??”

“uh-huh..” steve mused, raised eyebrow. 

“oh, and she said she wanted to learn punjabi, which _I _don’t speak, but she asked me about tips and tricks on how to learn languages, so we’re gunna get together for that too, isn’t that –”

“when are you gunna kiss her?” 

robin nearly choked on her  sandwich, doubling forward from where she was leaned up against the counter. 

“_what_ – wh-what’re you, crazy?! I can’t do that!” 

“_I’m _crazy?? for insinuating you kiss a super cool girl you’re spending every breathing minute with and are totally in love with?”

“first of all, I am not _totally in love with her –”_

“robin my shift started half an hour ago, and literally all you’ve done is talk about kali. I’ve been meaning to ask you for the box of cases for ten minutes now.” 

she pressed her lips together. she sheepishly turned around, taking out the box of newly ordered clear plastic VHS cases under the counter, stuffing it in his hands. 

“whatever, _you _asked about how it was going –”

“yeah because I thought there’d be _actual details –”_

“– and it’s not like we’re spending _every minute _alright, I can have stuff outside of her..”

“sure sure. nice get-up, by the way.” 

robin looked down at herself. black jean shorts, fishnet stockings on her legs and over her arms, heavy doc boots. the green was starting to fade from her hair, but  with the new black eyeshadow smeared around her  eyes, you hardly noticed.

“..shut up.” she muttered. steve grinned, looking up from where he was casing the new movies.

“look, rob, you just gotta _go for it. _kali _clearly _likes you; you’re the only one holding yourself back.” 

“who says she does?” 

“we were putting new parts on the bike yesterday, and all she was talking about was that you gotta be some kinda genius to have deciphered the code that fast, that she sees how smart you are.”

robin ducks her head down, red heating up her cheeks.

“that..can’t be right..” 

“believe it. you’re in. now you just gotta figure out _how _to do it. and lucky for you, I am a man of expertise!” 

“I am not going to pretend to yawn to put my arm over her shoulders.” she deadpanned “and am I really going to take the advice of a guy who’s only steady relationship dumped him and now he only hangs around middle schoolers?” 

“do you have any other choice?” 

“….no.” 

“perfect.” he slid up next to her “listen, you’re psyching yourself out; it’s not that big of a deal. you just gotta wait for the right moment; maybe a compliment, or, uh – you’re always saying you’re showing each other new records, do something with that! and then, once you’ve done that, you’ve got her smiling, boom that’s your moment, you swoop in.” 

robin bit into her cheek, clasping and unclasping her spiked wristlet, thinking. 

“..I..I was thinking of making a mix-tape...” she stuttered out “because we’re always debating on who’s album to play, jett’s or heart’s, joplin or nicks, so I thought I’d put one all together...” 

“that’s great!” steve encouraged, thumping her on the shoulder “go with that!”

robin continued to stare at her shoes. she was unsure; she’s never even  _ kissed  _ a girl before. she shifts her eyes to steve, nervously looking up.

“..you’re sure about this?” 

“would I lie to you?”

“lie? no. give unintentional bad advice that could cost kali never talking to me again? _most likely.”_

“just trust me on this.” he slid back to the other side, to his unfinished work _“..anyways,_ you haven’t even asked about my date with angela harris last night –”

“let me guess..” robin leaned back, smiling away “you invited her over last night to your place. she said she wanted to watch _breakfast club _and you agreed, but before taking the movie over you switched it with _the exorcist, _and said later your weirdo co-worker kieth must’ve ‘accidentally’ put the movie in the wrong case. you watch it anyway because you knew by then it’d be to late to go return it, and so that way she cuddles up to you during all the scary parts, increasingly close until she’s pretty much in your lap and then soon enough you two reach second base. she wants to stay over but you unfortunately tell her your parents are coming back early tomorrow – but in reality, it’s because dustin is coming over with his new project and wants your help, and the kid is like, weirdly punctual.”

steve waits, and then slits his eyes “….for the record, it was  _ nightmare on elm street.”  _

robin cackles, dodging to avoid the ball of saran wrap thrown her way.

-

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something..”

robin looks over to kali in the van’s driver seat; joan jett’s _crimson and clover_ was playing over the radio and she was fiddling with the volume. late at night, peaceful quiet parked at the edge of some road somewhere. just the two of them.

“go ahead.”

“I’ve always wondered, I’ve just been too..nervous to ask, but..why do you call el jane?..”

kali stops fiddling. pauses, to think maybe, lifting her head to stare out the windshield.

“it was the name she introduced herself with when we met. it’s her birth name, given to her by her mother.”

“..but she primarily goes by..el..”

“that’s her _chosen name.” _now she looks up, meeting robin “that’s who she wants to be. and I’m respecting that choice – but, she lets me call her jane, thinks it’s special or something that I’m only using it..”

she rolls her eyes, but robin catches the warmth in them. she shuffles in her criss-cross position in the raggedy seat.

“and el’s a shortened name for...”

she doesn’t dare speak it. saying it felt like it would bring some dark cloud upon them, intruding their moment of music and sharing stories. robin doesn’t know much about the sister’s past life, can only imagine the horrors that must’ve happened there by the way it’s tip-toed around. kali’s eased stance – one that’d loosened the more time they’d spent together, robin had noticed with high honour – hardened, tapping a fingernail against the radio as she glared out.

“I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at first. but, it’s not like she’s using that whole name – it’s rather, a variation she’s created, of someone different. I had to remember, jane wasn’t as lucky as I was; I’ve always had my name, knew I was someone else then what happened to us, but she had none of that, and has had to mold herself anew. I’ve been fortunate, to have had kali..”

“it’s not a bad name.” robin half-smiled, hoping to chase out the heaviness from the conversation “it’s from your birth parents?..”

“it is. I’ve always been kali.” she shuffled back now, leaning against the door “..it’s actually from hindu lore, that kali –”

“comes from the hindu god of the same name; she was the goddess of destruction, and of justice, and they called her the destroyer of evils, of people who tried to do wrong.” robin rambled, only to suddenly realize what she’d done, grimacing “..god, sorry, I-I get so excited sometimes about stuff that I totally talk over people, I’m sorry..”

kali didn’t appear upset. she didn’t say anything,  though  instead was looking at robin with a raised brow. 

“..you actually knew that. no one ever knows that.”

there’s heat along her cheeks, and robin desperately ducks her head. 

“I just um..have a lot of free time..for reading. b-but it is, like, an extremely cool name.” 

kali  _ hmmd,  _ glancing out the front window  again. solemnly, like she had a habit of doing. 

“I guess it is rather suiting..” 

“you _guess? _what, that the biggest badass has the most badass name ever? destroyer of evils? c’mon!” robin threw up her arms, grinning again “..I’m named after a fucking _bird.” _

at that, kali cracked. the low, genuine laugh came rumbling out of her; her head tilted back, bumping into the window. robin had to start laughing too, loving the way she lit up.

“..that can’t be true.” 

“oh but it is.” robin grinned, and kali was giving her that ‘go on’ brow raise, so she took in a breath and began.

“..the story goes, my mom, a photographer, was in the park one day, getting photos. she found this robin, thought it was so pretty or something and tried to get a good photo, but then it flew away. she followed it, only for it to land on the shoulder of my dad who was sitting on the park bench simply trying to read his newspaper. he let her get a few photos of the bird on him, sometimes with him even in the photo. she thanked him, and she got his name for royalties sake – but my dad said he didn’t want any cuts of the money, just a date with, quote, the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. and, boom, twenty years later, here I am, named after the very thing that brought them together.”

robin’s told that story a lot, almost to  nauseam; people always compliment on how lovely that is, girls cooing on how cute it is. kali wasn’t a gusher, obviously, but she was still smiling at robin. different, then  any low grin she’s seen on her. softer.

“..that’s nice. genuinely.” she spoke, volume lowered “I’ve always wondered if there was a bigger reason for my name.” 

“they never told you? –”

robin hates herself the second she hears the words. her eyes squeeze shut and she wants nothing more in that moment to be struck my lightning and killed. 

“god, shit, _fuck, _I’m so sorry –”

“it’s fine.” kali waves off, very non-pulsed but robin still wants a hole to open up around her. 

“it-it’s just, you, you mention a mother and father so often, I..” 

“my adoptive parents.” she answers, the briefest of smiles flashing over “..I loved them very much, but, obviously, they couldn’t tell me. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering, going over whys, and thinking about..–”

“– what they would say.” 

kali turns to the blonde, eyes not necessarily narrowing but sharpening in interest. robin swallowed thickly, hearing her heart hammering away against the silence inside the van.  there goes her big mouth again, exposing hidden scars; you think the scene in the starcourt bathroom with steve would've taught her something.

“..I feel there’s a piece I’m missing here.” 

robin pressed her lips together, an attempted smile, staring back at her lap.  but then again, that scene, that moment of openness, won her a best friend. and robin knew kali was trustworthy; that if anyone might get it, she probably would.  she’s real, and that’s one of the things robin really likes about her.

“..my mom died. when I was a baby.” she admitted, kali tilting her head back, waiting to hear more. “..my dad would tell me stories, that stuff, and what she liked. but even then, it’s not like he can tell you, you know, what she’d say to you on your first day of kindergarten and how she’d hug you. or how excited she’d be when you finally learned how to drive. and even, if it’s nice for relatives to say, oh, _you have her face, that’s your mom’s nose, _I wish more...that it was because..I noticed it when were both staring into the mirror together. how, super weird that is..to miss someone –”

“you never knew.” 

kali was still watching  her. she still had that wall of quietness up, but when she spoke, robin could hear the hidden heartbreak in the low tone.

“there’s nothing there..to hold onto. you can only miss the imaginative. I can miss my mom, dad. I can miss my dad, muttering over his newspaper, always taking his glasses off to rub them against the collar of his button down. my mom just taking them out of his hands to clean them anyway. her homemade cooking, her voice singing along to the _abby road _record she always had on..”

“they sound kind..” robin offered. now, a smile again, soft like the one before as she stared down at her rugged black jeans.

“I can have pieces of them; they were at such a..formative time and age in my life. I still check the daily weather in the papers, because my father would read them the moment he got his paper, and then he’d tell me them. always tapping my pinky finger to a song in my head, after seeing my mother do it so often. the other day I was helping jonathan open up a pickle jar, and tapped it” she made the motion, holding up an imaginative jar and flicking something at it’s side with the other hand “along the lid’s edge with a spoon like she taught me you’re suppose to, and he looked at me like I’d grown a second head.” 

robin smiled.  despite kali’s collect and fixed exterior, she loved hearing her talk about the people in her life – el, her parents – because she always lit up with such love. but then she sighed, fondness turning to sadness.

“my birth parents..I was too young, to form anything. but, what you said about the mirror..” she swallowed heavy, staring outside “I used to..and I still do..stare at my reflection – my jaw, my nose, the shape of eyes – and wonder who’s it is. who I got it from..” 

robin furrowed. here she thought it was hard to miss one parent, hear them through the mouth of another. kali had  _ no one.  _ they sat in the silence, creeping over, and robin knows more then anyone how careful this subject is. she should leave it alone. yet, she feels her mouth opening anyway like it always stupidly  does.

“I’m imagining mom.” 

kali looks up. still a detached look, but curious all the same.

“do you.” 

“yeah.” robin presses forward “a tiny little woman, square face, and full of fight, one that maybe you just didn’t learn completely on your own..”

a pause. kali was eyeing, watching, gauging. robin holds her breath, if this was another time her stupid big mouth would get her in trouble again. then, slowly, that smile crept up on kali. she chuckled lightly, shaking her head.

“I like it..” she told her, robin sighing out quietly “and if height is where we’re going, then your mother was a giantess.” 

“hey!” 

more laughter. robin couldn’t stay annoyed, joining in. after kali leaned forward, squinting to see the clock on the dashboard. 

“it’s nine already..” she sighed, falling back into the stained seat “I should start heading back..” 

“_you _have a curfew?” robin couldn’t resist teasing. 

“please.” kali hit back “it’s just jane. she gets antsy if I’m not back when out late; she’s very particular about time.” 

she starts shifting up in her seat, reaching for the car key in the slot, with the house key and purple lanyard dangling from it that robin’s confident el made. her heart jumped into her chest, forcing her to awkwardly scramble up, and then quickly relax when she realized how fast that was. 

“w-wait! I um, I wanted to show you something..” she leaned in to dig through her bag, throwing kali what she hoped was a confident smile “I think I’ve fixed our problem..” 

she’d been stalling all night really, working up the courage. and if kali leaves tonight with robin never having done it, she knows she’ll never get the balls to actually do it.

“and what’s that?..” 

robin’s fingers finally bump into the hard plastic, wrapping around the rectangle shape. she took a deep breath in  _ (“confidence _ _ rob, you got this; trust me, no girl can resist a mixtape, even a scary one like  _ _ kali.”). _

“you know how, uh, we’d have _heated debates _on who to play between our female artists? now, instead of facing off and making sacrifices –” she whipped up the tape, excitement brimming “tada!” 

kali quirked her head, leaning in. robin did the same, holding it up to the  extended  fingertips with  the  chipped  silver  nail polish. 

“see, here, I put them all in.” she pointed to the back where she’d scribbled listed titles in ballpoint pen “runaways, heart, fleetwood mac, blackhearts, pretty much everything I could fit on there. all the songs we wanted, so we don’t have to pick and choose anymore..”

she watches kali examine it, flipping it between fingers, thumb running over the  _ badass chicks  _ title  that  robin wrote. knitted brow, guarded eyes. never letting it show. robin can’t really breathe.

“robin.” 

“yeah..” 

she turns, sharp browns into curious blues – and there, her smile spread over, smooth and true and perfect.

“this is fantastic. you’re something truly different, you know that?

robin could’ve lept through the roof. she’s heard that a lot before; different,  unique, weird. from well-meaning teachers in condescending voices, jerky popular girls who sneered at her in hallways.  it’d always been a way to alienate her.

kali meant it in all sincerity; like it never could’ve been negative. her blood is screaming in her ears, nerves rattling.  _ once you’ve done that, you’ve got her smiling, boom that’s your moment, you swoop in – _

robin swoops. 

it’s lightning quick. half because she doesn’t know what she’s doing, half because she’s so scared. she moves in from where they were leaning over and presses her lips to kali’s, feather light and partly off-center. 

she hears kali inhale sharply. her lips were surprisingly soft.  robin catches what she thinks is cinnamon, from the gum packet stored in her jacket, and something else unnameable.  her heart is quite literally on fire; she didn’t know it was possible to be both so happy and frightened simultaneously.

and before that second was over, robin pulled away. kali was blinking back at her. robin swallowed thickly. the silence made her want to tear off her skin. waiting to see if it was a mistake, waiting for kali to possibly turn away, waiting waiting waiting –

and kali sighs out, soft,  _ relieved,  _ whispering, 

“_finally..” _

robin would’ve wondered about that, but there wasn’t time. kali was reaching up, and then her hand was around robin’s cheek, feeling the slick leather of the glove against as her thumb smoothed across. brought her in closer. 

and  _ actually  _ kissed her.

-

“_why..why me?” _

“_because you’re amazing, if you hadn’t noticed. you’re brilliant. you’re beautiful. you’re a fighter. you’re __yourself – when so__ many people are too scared to be. and..”_

“_and?..”_

“_..you make me feel __**light.” **_

robin’s walking up the paveway to the familiar dark blue door of her home. she could hear kali’s van against the gravel, motoring back to the byers-hoppers. she  tentatively glanced over her shoulder to see it go, steps becoming slower, waiting to see it  disappear down the road as it got further away. going going going..–

robin bolted. she ran like a mad man over her lawn, accidentally trampling a couple wild flowers her dad tried to put in. nearly tripping, she got a hold of her bike currently locked up against the garage. she undid it with shaky fingers, and once free, began pushing it down to the road, scrambling to get on.

she peddled harder then she had in her life. even beating the time she was coming back with maps to potentially stop evil russians. it’s stupid cold outside,  and dark, the wind biting into her red cheeks as she careened down the road. her mind’s still fuzzy and clouded and elated and she’ll be lucky if she can remember how to get  where she’s going,  running over what happened on loop.

“_I..ran primarily on anger, back in chicago; it was necessary, to keep doing what I was doing. but now things are different. I lived like that so long, I’ve...in a way forgotten, how to let go of that dark cloud. jane’s changing that some, and..you. I love being around you because in those moments, when I see you get __unapologetically__ excited for something and when you make me laugh as hard as you do...I feel light again. for the fist time in a long time, I feel happy in a way that’s becoming genuine.”_

robin can’t stop smiling. kali’s sincerity ringing through, the gentle way she cupped her face. kept  her  so close as they kissed, catching the artificial smell of hairspray doused in kali’s hair and the rough scent of her leather jacket. the soft sighs. she can’t resist pressing her now swollen lips  together, warm all over. 

finally, the four story house appeared in view; only one familiar car in front, low lights. she came to a screeching stop in front of the house, all but throwing her bike on the lawn. ran to the door, knocking and kicking until it finally opened. 

“robin?” steve squinted from inside, phone to his ear “what’re you doing here? I’m trying to call angela, I told you I was having her over –”

“I kissed her.” robin gasped out, panting. and grinning.

steve’s eyes went wide. he pressed the  _ end  _ button on the phone and tossed it  onto the nearby table.

“_come in.” _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked that! As I say, comments/kudos are encouraged, if not downright begged for. Tumblr's @paris-geller-was-straightwashed if you enjoy angry gay rants and dumb jokes


End file.
